It just had to happen… Somehow, something just made it inevitable… One of the intrepid New York Times New Jersey restaurant pundits would commit the ultimate magnum blupus… he/she would review – gasp, gulp – a diner! And, given Karla Cook’s penchant for quirky, out-of-the-way ethnic eateries, I would have wagered my platinum American Express card that she would have been the one to commit this scandalous solecism…
But – surprise, surprise – it was David Corcoran, the other half of the not-so-dynamic-dining-duo, who rose (or rather sunk) to the occasion. And in the article dated April 15, 2010, Mr. Corcoran treated us to “The Soul of a Bistro in the Form of a Diner.”
But not just any diner, as you might well imagine, the Skylark Diner in Edison to be precise, the diner where – sharp intake of breath – Craig Shelton, former chef/proprietor of the famous but now defunct Ryland Inn, holds court as consulting chef. “Hyperarticulate, detail-obsessed and blazingly talented,” Mr. Corcoran pontificates, “he would seem to be the last person on earth to lend his reputation and culinary gifts to a diner.”
Given Mr. Corcoran’s almost pious platitudes, it is quite clear that he is much taken by culinary celebrities (not a particularly admirable trait in a restaurant critic) having previously reviewed Alice’s, a casually comfortable dining spot overlooking Lake Hopatcong where David Drake, another award-winning chef, took over the reins as the power behind the stove.
But whereas Mr. Drake’s cuisine continues to sound vibrant, innovative chords, Mr. Shelton’s cookery always struck me as cumbersomely narcissistic, lacking the finesse and vitality that one would have expected from such a highly-touted chef. And after two sojourns to the Ryland Inn, parting company with over $800.00, my wife and I came away thoroughly disappointed, knowing full well that we had, on numerous occasions, dined infinitely better for infinitely less… as my review at the time clearly indicated.
Mr. Corcoran’s praise for the former proprietor of the Ryland Inn, however, apparently knows no bounds, leading him to rate the Skylark Diner a “Don’t Miss” opportunity, perched at the very top of his gastronomic Richter scale (Don’t Miss, Worth It, O.K., Don’t Bother). If Mr. Corcoran wishes to waste his time – and his readers’ time – fawning over diners, that’s fine by me…
But the most disturbing element of his review is that it is, in my opinion, exceedingly misleading. To wit: “… the Skylark is serious fun – a must-visit for anyone who misses Craig Shelton’s brilliance and wants to experience it in this eccentric new incarnation.” Really? The comments about the Skylark that I’ve noted on several restaurant forums have been mixed, to say the least. Mr. Corcoran does his readers no great service by suggesting that Mr. Shelton’s presence alone should prompt a culinary pilgrimage.
And, in point of fact, the text of Mr. Corcoran’s review seriously contradicts his sweeping closing statement. With regard to the diner’s exterior: “Its multicolored neon plumage poised for liftoff, it looks garish, flamboyant, possibly radioactive.” The interior: “Well, it’s a diner – 250 seats, with a self-consciously kitschy retro design.” The service: “Service can vary from attentive and knowledgeable to fumbling and disengaged.”
And what about the food: “A thick pork chop was fatty and bland; grilled tournedos of beef was thoroughly ordinary; Vietnamese chicken had a subtle lemon-grass marinade, but the meat was dry and under-flavored.” Were there high points? But of course. However, even they were not without their shortcomings: “We stuck to the bistro side (of the menu, in contrast to burgers, etc.) and were well rewarded, though the execution was uneven” (italics mine).
Put all these negative elements together and they hardly comprise a “Don’t Miss” epicurean opportunity… Sounds suspiciously like a con jobus maximus to me. A significantly less than successful exercise in dumbed-down doublethink.
Fran Schumer, the former Times New Jersey restaurant critic, bowed out of her reviewing gig by treating readers to a lovingly detailed appraisal of various eating establishments located in rest stops along the Garden State Parkway. Hardly an awe-inspiring swan song. And after attempting to digest Mr. Corcoran’s hyped-up homage to Craig Shelton and the Skylark Diner, it is blatantly obvious that he has done precious little to raise the bar.
Once again, New Jersey diners deserve better at the hands of their so-called professional hired bellies.
Bon Appétit!
TAD
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